dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me