how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...