The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I lost the right to judge tonight
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.