this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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