I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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