I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
