please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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