Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
