So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
