i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
