well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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