walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
