I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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