I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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