Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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