walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize