Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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