You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
