That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
