We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
