i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
