i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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