i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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