just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Terrible idea I love it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
