Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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