I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
