never play flip cup with pint glasses
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
