the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
