I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
