How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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