It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you didnt know i had herpes?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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