Betty ford says i'm here all night
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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