you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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