Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
