Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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