to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
