Are we in a gay sports bar?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize