she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
