YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
