Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize