"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
