So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
