I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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