Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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