she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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