i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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