At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
