i think my tv is drunk
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?