wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
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Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We are all done wearing pants today
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*