I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.