Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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