Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"