the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
