You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
