I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize