I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
