NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
