so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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