if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
