I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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