they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
