just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
