Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
