I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
