I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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