i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need to calm my uterus...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize