remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
